Date: 3/15/04
Author: David Williams
Photos: Bill Jamison

...Spring. Rejuvenation. Rebirth.
Everything's blooming. All that crap.

               - George Costanza, Seinfeld

Although it flies in the face of the calendar and, more importantly, Punxsutawney Phil, I'm going to go ahead and declare the arrival of spring!

Why do I, lowly janitor of WakeWorld, think I've got the authority to make such a declaration? I don't think it's me so much as wakeboarders in general. Quite frankly, I think the whole Groundhog Day thing is ridiculous and that the behavior of wakeboarders would be a much better determinant of whether or not winter is over. Hear me out on this one.

Since 1887, a little rodent, dubbed Punxsutawney Phil, has been spending every February 2nd climbing out of his hole to see whether or not his shadow will appear. If he sees his shadow, it's supposed to mean that there will be six more weeks of bad weather before spring hits and the groundhog heads back down into his hole. If the day is cloudy and he doesn't see his shadow, it means spring has arrived and the groundhog stays above ground. (To me the whole concept seems a little backwards, but that's a debate for another time.)

Meanwhile, since way back in 1985, wakeboarders have been participating in a similar ritual, but it has had little to do with the appearance of their shadows. It has everything to do with the removal of their winter coats, also known as wetsuits or drysuits.

The day this happens is almost a holy day for wakeboarders. Freedom of movement is restored, the fear of looking like a dork for the camera declines (although it never really disappears for some of us), boardshorts no longer have a need to be reinstalled over wetsuits/drysuits (although this is already a questionable practice for those sporting full suits), unencumbered urination (that's a good name for a band) becomes a reality and, most importantly, numbness and cold are nearly forgotten for the duration of the season.

Now let's look at the situation of the groundhog versus the wakeboarder. What exactly is on the line for each of these parties? For Phil, the world's third most famous rodent (I'm going to put Mickey Mouse and the Caddyshack gopher in the top two positions), a mistake regarding the coming of spring will do nothing more than leave him outside of his hole during inclement weather. Big deal! He's covered in fur for just such an occasion and, if things really go south, he takes two steps and he's back in the warmth of his home.

For the wakeboarder, however, it's an entirely different situation with a lot more at stake. I think many of us have made the mistake of trunking it prematurely in a valiant attempt to end the off-season. Results can range from hypothermia to cramping to shrinkage the likes of which you've never seen.

Nobody, not even that little Pennsylvanian varmint, knows the coming of spring like wakeboarders. You either know when it's here or you pay dearly for your mistake.

As much as I'd like to file an official request to convert Groundhog Day to Wakeboarder Day, I'm pretty confident that I'd end up taking my own life in some gruesome manner somewhere around the 50th time I caught myself saying, "It's like snowboarding, but behind a boat."

Anyway, the whole point of my rant is that this is one of my favorite times of the year. I hit my local lake this past Friday and the water was warm enough to allow us to finally get rid of the rubber suits. We had everything going for us. The water was flat, the air was warm, the company was good and we had all kinds of new gear (as well as a 20-year-old life vest with a collar) just waiting to get its first use. I wakeboarded, wakeskated, wakesurfed and goofed off. It was one of those great days that mark the beginning of the season.

Considering I'm in San Diego, we're probably on the leading edge of this seasonal wave of good vibrations, but I wanted to let you all know what's coming your way. Don't take it for granted. Grab some friends and make the most of it by getting the 2004 season off on the right (goofy) foot.

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